Unrest || Don

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:00 pm

Mac shrugged and looked over at Don. "I'm good, how about you, Don?"

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:08 am

Don nodded. "Nah, think I'm good for now, Danny, thanks." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:13 am

Danny nodded. "Alright. We'll keep you boys in the loop." Mac nodded, "Thanks."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 04, 2014 6:45 pm

Don nodded and repositioned himself in his bed, still a bit uncomfortable but slowly being able to deal with the fact that he was blown to pieces from the explosion. "Son of a bitch, that hurts, but I'm glad to say it's not as bad as it was before." he said, looking over at Mac. "Mac, I know that look all too well. U always have something on your mind. U care to share that with me?" he asked.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 04, 2014 6:55 pm

Mac sighed and shrugged. "Nothing,"he said distractedly. "Just got a lot on my mind."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:55 pm

Don shook his head. "If it's involving the current case, Mac, u do know u can share that info with me. I may be in pain but knowing what the hell you're thinking is what I'm more interested in." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 04, 2014 11:35 pm

Mac smirked a little. "Just thinking over something I've thought a lot about over the years,"he admitted, caving as he leaned back against the wall of the room to take the weight off his agitated leg. "I just gotta wonder sometimes exactly how I keep coming back to this job. It's fucking insanity, and we all know it. But we keep coming back, and it puts me in awe sometimes, Don. I'm a hell of a lucky man to have worked with such determined and dedicated people. And... it amazes me... I would've never guessed when I was in my teens that I would ever be where I am now. Back then I was definitely a bit reckless... Needless to say I usually did end up grounded every other weekend, but still... There's many a thing my parents still don't know I did back then."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sun Jan 05, 2014 4:53 pm

Don smirked and tried not to laugh as hard since it made him hurt more. "I can't seriously picture u getting into any trouble whatsoever, Mac. Hard to believe u got away with whatever it is u did do." he joked.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sun Jan 05, 2014 6:02 pm

Mac smiled and chuckled, shaking his head at the memories. "Oh hell, I was a bad, bad boy. There were even times when I was in high school that I'd sneak out and meet my girlfriend and we'd just drive through Chicago or take the subways through the stations,"he said. "And I did a lot of other cocky shit, too. What can I say? I was young. Back then it made me feel in control, and that's just what every kid, even now, wants. To be in control of something,"he said. "Between parents and school, it was hard to find things that were good for me to do that I still got the 'in control' high. Oh hell... The things I did!! Damn, I was such an idiot!"

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Mon Jan 06, 2014 11:33 pm

Don sighed and shook his head. "I'm a grown man but the most recent time I can remember acting like a bad boy was three years ago when I decided to not show up to work but instead take the damn subway to East Brooklyn, only to be found by Terrence, then later on be found by u, thanks to Stella's superb skills of triangulating my cell phone." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Mon Jan 06, 2014 11:45 pm

Mac sighed. "We don't need to go there,"he said quietly. "I don't want to have to do that again."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:02 am

Don nodded. "I know u hate it whenever I mention that to u, Mac, but the only reason I do is because I'm still not sure whether or not u do trust me." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:10 am

Mac looked over at him, feeling like he'd just got slapped in the face. "Of course I trust you, Don! You came back to me, cleaned up your act, and told me you knew it got out of hand. That's all I can ask for, Don. The fact that you came back to my office that quick told me what I wanted: I can trust you. Always have, actually. More so I was just worried out of my damned mind about you then. I didn't want to see you hurt yourself."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 07, 2014 1:59 am

Don nodded. "It was the only option at that time to help me cope with her loss, Mac. I was angry at the world and myself for allowing her to get killed, and if only I had come to her sooner she'd probably still be alive." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:46 pm

Mac nodded and sighed. "You know... I was feeling that same anger when Claire got killed on 9/11. I told myself almost constantly that the only thing I needed to do was go with her and protect her or not let her go that day... And she would've been fine and we wouldn't be separated like this..." He sighed again, looking out to the Manhattan skyline through the window, his eyes distant. "It took me almost until I got shot to realize that I can't blame myself... Couldn't keep living in the past because I was missing more than half of the things around me and half the things ahead of me in the future. It never got easier when I was blaming myself, and I always snapped when someone asked if I was okay. Back then my mind screamed, 'Hell no I'm not!', but I always just lied. And those were the worst lies I've ever told. Stella... She saw right through me when I lied about that. But she knew... She knew I was lying like that." He sighed again, eyes falling to study the pattern of tiled flooring and not looking back to Don. "So... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't blame yourself... Don't do what I did. Because life... sometimes it's tricky, and sometimes when you think you should've or could've done something, there was nothing that would've prevented it from happening sooner or later. And then, you gotta ask yourself... You'd still blame yourself then, wouldn't you? So... is it really worth blaming yourself and hurting yourself over something that you can't change?"

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:05 am

Don shook his head and played with the blankets that were covering his feet. "In a way I guess it doesn't help to blame myself about what happened to Jess. Facing her family, her father, was the hardest thing I ever did. I never told anyone this, you're the first person I've told, but Cliff invited me to his place on Jess's birthday. I promised him I would go, which I did. But here's the part I couldn't face: I pull into the neighborhood and I see Cliff laughing and cracking jokes with friends, I just couldn't face them so I drove off. It would've been too hard." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:29 pm

Mac nodded silently in understanding. "We all have ways of moving on... It's just hard to see that path sometimes. I should know,"he said, finally looking up at Don with conflicted eyes. "Claire and Peyton taught my heart the hard way that love is a double-edged sword. It can build you up, but when it tears you down, it does it entirely unforgivingly,"he said with a quiet sigh. "And it's hard as hell to try and recover from something like that."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:16 am

Don nodded. "I understand that, Mac. Trust me, I do. But I think I've managed pretty well. Now I have Jamie and I couldn't be any happier than I already am." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:28 am

Mac nodded and even smiled slightly. "And I'm happy for you, Don. Out of all we've been through, seeing you happy with her is... Hell, a lot more than I think I could've ever asked for."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:29 pm

Don smiled. "Thanks, Mac. I really couldn't have done it without your help. All of u." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:56 pm

Mac smiled softly and shook his head slightly. "Just what family and friends are for."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:07 am

Don smiled. "It's the best family I've ever had, next to my real family, of course." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Tue Jan 14, 2014 7:57 pm

Mac smiled slightly and nodded. "I know... You guys... I owe you more than I think you guys'll admit for sticking with me through the years. Hell, you guys have been my only family for what? A little well over a decade? I can't ever repay that,"he said. "And don't bother telling me that I don't have to, because I know that's what you wanna say, but... You know me."

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:53 pm

Don nodded. "Ok. I won't ask then. But I do have to ask u this, Mac. Whoever came up with the formula that every dog year is seven human years? And don't tell me u don't know because I know u do. U know more than u think." he said.

Subject: Re: Unrest || Don Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:25 am

"Don... Really?"Mac asked with a sigh as he smirked and rolled his eyes. "For Pete's sake, do I look that rough or what?"